【Text, Picture/Excerpt from If published "The Meaning of Olderness: The Year of Me and Those Older People", author John. Lilan]
In the 1980s, Swedish sociologist Ras. Lars Tornstam was surprised to find that people like Wang Ping were very common. Although they have lost a lot, they are satisfied when they are old. Tostan, like me, found that people like this are visible everywhere. When he began to interview them, they described how their values changed as they grew older. It is worth noting that they have become more picky about how to spend time and who to spend time with. They no longer have the interest to chat with people or mingle with strangers in cocktails, no longer find new friends or add new contacts on social networks. In addition, they became less self-centered and more aware that they were part of the greater ego. Instead of feeling lonely, they told Tostan that they cherish the time they have to ponder. Other social scientists contend to come up with new ideas to keep the elderly busy. Tostan created the term "gerotranscendence" and looked at old age in a different way - not a period of recession, but a high point, when people are overwhelmed with material concerns and focus on things that are truly valuable.
Tostan People between four and one hundred and four are targets. When asked what changes their value after fifty years old, nearly three-quarters agreed to the statement: "I am not interested in clean social interaction now." Two-thirds said: "I am more happy in my inner world now." Eighty-one percent agreed to the statement: "Now things of materiality are less important." They became more selfless and accepted some of their never-ending secrets in life. This result is amazing - although they do not experience what they generally call growth (such as job advancement or learning new skills), they are still improving in a deeper way. Tostan discovered something amazing: the older man seemed to live in the past and present at the same time, blurring the boundaries between memory and present experience. They will look back on their previous conversations and apologize to those they have treated but have passed away, and are still grateful for their previous joy.
Of course, Tostan's recipients were Swedes and Danes, and they enjoyed a social security network with generosity, but his concept of "beyond aging" became popular in the United States. Monica from Florida University. Adette led me to know this concept. Adett studies wisdom and aging. She believes that some trends of the elderly (such as receiving mixed emotions and negative feelings) cause some wisdom that evolves with age. Wisdom is inseparable from talent or omniscience—not to discover relative arguments or solve the Central East crisis—but to a ability to grow with experience. Mozart has talent, but your mother is wise. At least my mother has it.
In order to evaluate whether she is smarter as she gets older, Adde specially prepared what she calls three dimensional wisdom scale (3D-WS), using three coordinates to express wisdom: cognitive (the ability to understand life), reflection (the ability to view life from different perspectives) and affective (the ability to think about life from different perspectives). A person may be stronger in a certain dimension, but wise people use these three dimensions to gain each dimension. Adet used this scale to find that people who are wise from the beginning will indeed grow with age, and the higher their wisdom, the stronger their sense of happiness. The results obtained by research care homes or hospitalists should be particularly obvious. The happiness in these places is relatively low. Those with higher wisdom scores are more satisfied with their lives and are comparable to those who live independently in the same year. Wise people have better decision-making skills and are more realistic in anticipation. If things are not as good as expected, they will not be so disappointed. The elderly will not be confused by the wealth they cannot spend or the objects they cannot attract, nor will they be hated for the offense they cannot remember.
Adette said that by shortening time, both young and elderly people can eliminate unrelated interference. "The self-centered situation has diminished. All the energy that used to consume in the skin is now used in the essence and truly precious things. Generally speaking, older people accept things that they don't have much time to live, and they don't understand it. They are not afraid of death, they are afraid of the process of death, and wise people are more able to accept this process."
Jonas. Mecas has a relatively simple explanation of why he is happy. "I think this is normal," he said. Choosing happiness is actually the lightest way to go, far easier than his friends' own anxiety - they worry about things that have not happened yet, they are eager to run for things they don't need, and overly addicted to drugs, alcohol or sex. Jonas said that even what Su and Nazi did to him became a good thing, and that was why he came to New York and created his life there.
Jonas said one day at his house, "Yeah, I think I have insight. I know better what can be changed, what can be kept in its original state, or can only be changed slightly. Some of my friends think, oh, this can be changed by a little bit."
He will not be upset about things that he cannot change, he will save energy and pursue things that benefit him and others. The choice is in his hands. Why choose something that makes him unhappy? He said, "Finally, it depends on what you believe in. Art and beauty are slim, but I choose art and beauty, not the terror and horror around us today. Watching flowers and listening to music has certain effects on people, with a positive impact, while being trapped in misfortune and horror has negative impacts. So I think I have the responsibility to not betray these poets, scientists, sages, singers and gentry poets from past centuries, their efforts to make humanity better. I must continue their hard work in my tiny way. ”
To be wise at any age, you must first accept that you will die (and really accept this fact), and be content with the limitations, rather than feel tired. Modern medicine encourages us to see death as a test, and we may pass or fail, while experts in white robes are on it. However, the elder gave us a more wise view - we all couldn't escape death, so it's better to live this while we are still alive. If the scene of our passing is more like our ancestors (at home, there is a lingering ray, which is the focus of their concern), will we pay more attention to irrigating out what kind of love when we are alive?
{twenty three} {twenty four} Two thousand years ago, Stoic philosopher Seneca advocated that we should "cherish and love the elderly, because as long as we know how to use them, the elderly can be filled with joy. Life is going downhill and not yet declined sharply. The most pleasant. And I personally believe that during that period, it was like standing on the roof, there was actually a unique joy. Otherwise, we have become accustomed to joy, so we don’t think so. How gratifying it is to have a lot of fun and have no desires! ”
Castren quoted the rabbi of the Episcopal Church. L. Rabbi Joshua L. Liebman expresses a similar concept: "I often think that death is not an enemy of life, but a friend, because the reason why age months are so precious is because we know that age months are limited." Older people are forced to accept this concept, and some of them are more willing to accept it, and some are no. However, we should not wait to get older before taking this view. We just need to choose this to see things. There are six people who are willing to teach me to see life in a happier way—not only their lives, but also mine. I did not lose much in doing this, but it was a story that I already knew.